GRACIE, HOW DO I GET RID OF HIM?

I love my people, I really do, but what in the world were they thinking??? At first, I thought the little black fuzzball was just here for the evening. Sure, he was annoying - grabbing my bones, drinking out of my bowl, and stealing attention from yours truly.

But then.... HE WAS THERE THE NEXT MORNING! I have to tell you that I was suspicious when I saw his crate sitting next to mine, but the shock. I can't tell you how it felt to see his beady little eyes looking at me the next morning and listen to his perky questions.

Of course, I do feel sorry for the fuzzball. He keeps asking me when HIS family will be back, but, as I keep telling him, I can't read the calendar any better than he can. I did tell him that sometimes people go other places and leave us with trusted friends, and that is probably what was happening to him. I certainly hope so. There is only so much I can take.

The first morning, my main person, she does these weird stretching things. Part of it looks just like WE do when we get up and stretch. This doesn't surprise me because, as you know, she is pretty in tune with those of the canine persuasion. Will you believe the little brat started jumping all over her head. I know he was just trying to ingratiate himself with her by kissing her face, but I could tell she DID NOT LIKE IT! I secured the borders for her. I could see how grateful she was - she gave me extra yogurt in my food bowl.

The worst are the walks. Gracie, I'm sooooooo embarrassed. Dooby, I think that is what they call him, races all over the place when every dog knows you are supposed to walk NEXT to your person. My poor person exhibits the utmost patience, as little Dooby pulls and yelps. I keep telling him people, cars and other dogs are no threat, but does he listen? NO! He must yap and yap at everyone and everything. It's humiliating. I have tried to show him how it is done, but he's oblivious.

Well, Gracie, I must close this letter. Say a prayer for me that Dooby is not a permanent part of the household. Can you believe my person let that fuzzball sleep ON HER LAP while she rested this afternoon. I laid against her legs to give her strength - she has a kind heart.

Until our next sniff,
Kipper